Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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