one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
