Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
