Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
