So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
