I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
