How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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