Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
