Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wear drunk well.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
