How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
