PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In other news, I just burned my penis
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
