elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
