Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
