this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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