im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
