i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
