what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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