Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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