Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
