My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
