Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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