it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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