Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
