I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
