He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
