she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
