I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
