They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
