But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
