Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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