I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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