Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
