..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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