im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
