Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
