morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
His nipple licking is glorious
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