I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
cat food counts as protein by the way
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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