Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
