I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
