You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
