You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
