doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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