You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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