Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
