She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
