I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
