Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
