the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
home. puking in laundry basket.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
