wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize