I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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