I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
