I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize