you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
