it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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