I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
