Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
