Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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