I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
