He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
