Sponge bath it is.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
