ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
