I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
