I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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