so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want her autograph on my taint
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sext me about skeletons
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
