Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This baby is an asshole
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
