the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
