last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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