I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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