I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize