you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
