She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
