Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
