i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
